Wednesday, April 16, 2014

The Definition and Design of Sex (why it's so much more than just a physical act)

Sex can be compared to fire. Fire is a good thing when it is properly used - it can warm you, it can create beautiful works of art like pottery and it can also light your path so that you can see where you are going. But when fire gets out of control it can be damaging and destructive.

Much like fire, sex is also a gift that when experienced the way it was intended - within the boundaries and commitment of marriage - it can be a wonderful thing. But when sex gets outside of its boundaries, it can be harmful and devastating.

Casual sex, friends with benefits, hook ups, flings, sexual experimentation….our culture has a very skewed perspective about sex. So let’s talk about the true definition of sex: Sex is a great gift designed by God for married people.  Sex was created for one man and one woman together forever, committed in a marriage relationship. Society has distorted the design for sex, but the truth is, when sex is enjoyed the way that it was intended to be enjoyed…within marriage…it retains its wholeness and can be enjoyed to the fullest.

The consequences of sex outside of marriage such as STDs and unplanned pregnancies are often talked about but what is less talked about, but is equally as impacting, is the emotional disconnect that happens when we have sex with someone other than our husband or wife. If we’re being honest, we recognize that each time we give ourselves sexually to someone who we are not married to, our emotional and spiritual well-being is affected. There is a pain we feel deep within ourselves when we reduce sex to a purely physical act. Sex is so much more than that. Sex is the fusion of two souls. So when we move from one sexual partner to the next, we have to first break away our soul that has been infused to that person through sex.

Think of it this way…when you have sex….you are being sewn or super glued together…but if you are not committed to that person…when you or your partner choose to walk away, you have to rip out the stitches and pull apart the flesh because sex is meant to bind you permanently. Is it any wonder then that casual sex causes some serious pain and scarring. Pain that we were never meant to experience because we were never meant to be separated, we were meant to stay connected for life. That is why when you have sex outside of its boundaries, it chips away at your soul and becomes more and more difficult to bond.Marriage was intended to protect us from pain not to keep us from pleasure. Sex within marriage is not meant to spoil our fun, but frees us to enjoy sex to the maximum.

The good news for anyone who has already experienced sex outside of marriage is that it is never too late to enjoy the fullness of sex. Healing is possible. You can’t go back and make a new beginning, but you can start today and create a new ending. Commitment to enjoying sex only within the protective walls of marriage is always possible. It’s a choice you can make today, no matter what happened yesterday. It’s a choice you won’t regret.

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