The Definition and Design of Sex (why it's so much more than just a physical act)

Sex can be compared to fire. Fire is a good thing when it is properly used - it can warm you, it can create beautiful works of art like pottery and it can also light your path so that you can see where you are going. But when fire gets out of control it can be damaging and destructive.

Much like fire, sex is also a gift that when experienced the way it was intended - within the boundaries and commitment of marriage - it can be a wonderful thing. But when sex gets outside of its boundaries, it can be harmful and devastating.

Casual sex, friends with benefits, hook ups, flings, sexual experimentation….our culture has a very skewed perspective about sex. So let’s talk about the true definition of sex: Sex is a great gift designed by God for married people.  Sex was created for one man and one woman together forever, committed in a marriage relationship. Society has distorted the design for sex, but the truth is, when sex is enjoyed the way that it was intended to be enjoyed…within marriage…it retains its wholeness and can be enjoyed to the fullest.

The consequences of sex outside of marriage such as STDs and unplanned pregnancies are often talked about but what is less talked about, but is equally as impacting, is the emotional disconnect that happens when we have sex with someone other than our husband or wife. If we’re being honest, we recognize that each time we give ourselves sexually to someone who we are not married to, our emotional and spiritual well-being is affected. There is a pain we feel deep within ourselves when we reduce sex to a purely physical act. Sex is so much more than that. Sex is the fusion of two souls. So when we move from one sexual partner to the next, we have to first break away our soul that has been infused to that person through sex.

Think of it this way…when you have sex….you are being sewn or super glued together…but if you are not committed to that person…when you or your partner choose to walk away, you have to rip out the stitches and pull apart the flesh because sex is meant to bind you permanently. Is it any wonder then that casual sex causes some serious pain and scarring. Pain that we were never meant to experience because we were never meant to be separated, we were meant to stay connected for life. That is why when you have sex outside of its boundaries, it chips away at your soul and becomes more and more difficult to bond.Marriage was intended to protect us from pain not to keep us from pleasure. Sex within marriage is not meant to spoil our fun, but frees us to enjoy sex to the maximum.

The good news for anyone who has already experienced sex outside of marriage is that it is never too late to enjoy the fullness of sex. Healing is possible. You can’t go back and make a new beginning, but you can start today and create a new ending. Commitment to enjoying sex only within the protective walls of marriage is always possible. It’s a choice you can make today, no matter what happened yesterday. It’s a choice you won’t regret.

Summertime Style

Being classy and modest is a choice. We as women CHOOSE what clothes we put on our body and we don't have to sacrifice style in order to dress modestly.

Here are a few examples of how to choose modesty this summer and still look stylish.

How To: 5-Step Closet Makeover

1.) Edit Your Wardrobe 
For each item in your closet, ask yourself, "Would I buy this today?" and "Have I worn this in the past 12 months?" If the answer to either question is "no" then donate or toss it, depending on the condition.

2.) Arrange It Like A Boutique
Many shops arrange their clothing by item. Putting skirts with skirts, shirts with shirts, etc. will not only help your closet to look more uniformed but you will be able to find clothing items more easily if everything has it's place/category. If you want to take this a step further you can organize each category by color as well.

3.) Update It Seasonally
It's a good idea to reassess your wardrobe quarterly as a kind of inventory check so that you know what you should be shopping for throughout the year.

4.) Use Uniformed Organizing Solutions
Invest in all of the same kind of hangers and opt for clear or plastic boxes for a more uniformed, practical solution when organizing your closet.

5.) Stick To Your System
Recognize that staying organized is a learned habit, stay mindful of keeping your closet clean and organized and eventually it won't require much thought...staying organized will soon become second nature. Always put things back in their place immediately instead of waiting and doing it later because your closet is more likely to stay organized if you stay on top of it.

Happy Organizing! :)

image found HERE.

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Heart to Heart: Sharing God's Grace

Are you selfish with grace?


Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? —Luke 6:41


It is so easy to see when other people are screwing up. We could sit there all day and point out flaws in other people's actions, especially those of other Christians. However, that isn't what God wants from us. I love that Jesus, the only perfect person to ever walk the face of the earth didn't do that. He could have. He is the only one who has ever had the right to cast stones, yet instead, He gave His life for us, so that we could be forgiven. But we don't offer grace like that. We are certainly happy to receive God's grace. We are thankful that He is so gracious towards us, but then we sit there and look down on others. We judge them because we don't think that they dress the right way, or talk the right way. We stick our noses up at others because we don't think that they are as good as we are, or worthy of our attention. I don't know about you, but I am certainly thankful that Jesus didn't treat us that way.

Unlike Jesus, who was perfect in every way, we are sinners. We sin every single day in some way or another. 1 John 1 says that if we say we have not sinned we make Christ out to be a liar, and if we say that there is no sin in us we deceive ourselves. We sin; all of us, each and every one of us sin. But instead of working through our own salvation, we focus on the sins of others. It may make us feel a whole lot better, but it isn't what God wants from us. He doesn't want us to hoard His grace all to ourselves, but to show that same grace to others. Jesus didn't die for our sins alone, but for the sins of the world. That includes the lady at church who frequently gossips about others. That includes the sins of your best friend, even if they are sins against you. It includes the sins of our parents, of our peers, teachers, and family.

Reflection:
Do you offer the same grace to others as God has offered to you? Or are you busy casting stones and worrying about others sins instead of your own?

Application:
Every time you catch yourself judging someone, compliment them on something that they do well. Even if it is someone clear across the room, walk over and compliment them. If it is someone who you aren't with, pick up a phone and call them just to tell them something nice.

Prayer:
Heavenly Father, I am so selfish with your grace! Please forgive me. I have been casting stones and pointing out their flaws instead of working on my own shortcomings. Help me to encourage others, even in my thoughts. Help me to focus on my own sins, and grow closer to you. My walk with you is the only one that I have control over, so help me to focus my thoughts on sharing your grace, and growing in my love for you. In the name of your Son I pray. Amen.



Written by Heather Hart

Heart to Heart: Spiritual Vitamins

 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.  
-Colossians 4:2


Just as taking vitamins daily is important to your body in order to stay healthy, so is taking vitamins to help your spiritual body.


Vitamin P:  Prayer  -- Have you prayed today?  Have you taken the time to pause and talk to God today?  Invited Him into your life and to your heart?  Have you told Him your fears, your desires, your joys, and your struggles?
Vitamin T:  Thankfulness -- Be thankful for this day, for your family, your friends, your health, your education, your church and all of life's blessings!
Vitamin W: The Word  -- Have you gotten into God's Word today?  It has everything you need to give you power and authority in your life.
Vitamin F: Fellowship  -- Fellowship with others who believe in Jesus is an amazing thing.  Find people who uplift you, encourage you, stretch you and keep you accountable.


Reflection:  
Have you taken your spiritual vitamins today?
Application Step: 
Make it part of your daily diet to pray, be thankful, read God's Word and associate with fellow Believers. It will keep you spiritually healthy and healthy as a whole.
Prayer: 
Dear God, I know that there are things missing from my everyday life. Help me get my daily dose of you and your Word.  Help me to be more thankful and to fellowship with other Christians more.  Help me find a group of people that I can spend time with that will strengthen me in my faith and help me to become all that I can be, for you. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray, amen.

Inspired by Erin Offermann

5 Tips For Making The Most Of Your High School Experience

We all approach back to school time with different attitudes. Some of us are anxious and terrified, others are anxious and excited. The best attitude to have whether this is your first year at a new school or not is a positive one. If you go in with a positive attitude you are more likely to have a positive experience. Instead of entering the year with a sense of dread and despair, go into the experience with reasonable expectations and a set of positive goals. Here are a few things to consider as you start the new school year that will help you to make the most of your experience.

1.) Stay True To Yourself.
Know what your standards and convictions are and stay true to them. Pressures are all around us and can often be more intense within the school setting. We all have this longing for acceptance and desire to be popular or well-liked but don't compromise your morals or your goals in order to please others. Each time you give in to pressure and do something you don't really want to do and you know is not truly in your best interest (whether it be drugs, sex, or cheating on an exam) you are settling for second best. The truth is you are EPIC and deserve an EPIC future. Don't blow future opportunities because you gave in to unwanted pressures. It may help you to write a list of goals and expectations for yourself and keep this list in your locker or backpack or somewhere you can easily return to it so you can frequently remind yourself of your bright future and ask yourself what choices will help you reach your goals as well as what choices will negatively effect your goals.


2.) Choose Your Friends Carefully.
Good friends promote good choices and bad company corrupts good morals. Having good, sound friends will help you stay strong in your convictions and assist you in reaching your goals by reinforcing healthy choices and good decisions. We choose who we surround ourselves with. Surround yourself with friends who will strengthen and encourage you to live a healthy lifestyle and who keep your best interest in mind. Keep in mind that good friends aren't always the popular people.


3.) Avoid Serious Relationships
If you are in high school, realize that few meet their future spouse during those years. You have plenty of time; there is no need to get into an intense relationship now. Most people find their spouses in college (or later) and do not get married until after graduation. The best foundation for any relationship is friendship. Start things off with a long, healthy friendship. After time, it should be clear if both of you desire the commitment of a relationship. There's no need to rush into it. Use this time to also decide if you're even ready to be in a relationship that could lead to marriage. Use your high school years to enjoy time with your friends and learn about yourself as an individual. Save serious relationships for when you are more prepared to support a spouse and family should it progress to that.


4.) Get Involved.
Boredom is the number one reason we lose our self control and get involved in negative activities. Keep  yourself occupied with good friends, service work, sports, healthy hobbies, and other positive interests. The less idle time you have, the less likely you will be involved in destructive activities. Find something beneficial that you enjoy doing and will keep you on the right track towards your goals.


5. Have Fun!
High school is the stepping stone into adulthood. It's meant to be a time where you learn the necessary skills and knowledge to be a successful adult so that after graduation you will be more prepared for the independence and responsibility that comes with adulthood. But it's also a time where you can enjoy certain freedoms that come with being a teenager. It's important to study hard and get good grades but it's also valuable to build good relationships with your fellow classmates, make memories that you will treasure for years to come and relish in the fact that at this stage in your life your responsibilities are minimal so enjoy that simplicity. Have fun!